{"id":370,"date":"2019-04-09T13:27:11","date_gmt":"2019-04-09T13:27:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.gstboces.org\/divenparentpartner\/?p=370"},"modified":"2019-04-09T13:27:11","modified_gmt":"2019-04-09T13:27:11","slug":"a-note-from-your-social-worker-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.gstboces.org\/divenparentpartner\/2019\/04\/09\/a-note-from-your-social-worker-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A Note from Your Social Worker"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Leah Sorensen, LMSW<\/em>
\nSocial Worker, Diven Elementary School<\/p>\n

If you find yourself stressed out or at the end of the rope with your child (or children). Don\u2019t worry. We\u2019ve all been there. It\u2019s what you do next that is important:<\/p>\n

Take a break. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Model this for your child and before you know it he or she will be doing it too! Try saying something like this, \u201cMommy is so frustrated right now I feel like I might lose control. I\u2019m going to _____________ (take a few deep breaths, go into my room for a few minutes, stop and count to ten, etc.) until I am more calm.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do not discipline your child until your own emotions are under control.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Respond in as calm a manner as you are able. Children need boundaries in order to feel safe, and you are not a bad parent if you tell them they cannot do something, especially if that \u201csomething\u201d is outside of your value system or is unsafe.<\/p>\n

Reach out to friends, family, or a faith group for support.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The phrase \u201cit takes a village\u201d is popular for a reason. We are not meant to raise children on our own.<\/em> Find a trusted friend or family member you can trade childcare with or who can step in on those days when you just need a break.<\/p>\n

Take time for yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Even if it is only those \u201cmini vacations\u201d from the time it takes you to walk from the passenger side of the car to the driver\u2019s seat, savor the time you have to just be \u201cyou.\u201d<\/p>\n

We tend to parent and discipline in the ways we were parented ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you have been reading these articles on child abuse and neglect and you realize you may have a problem, reach out for help. We know that most parents truly love their children and are trying to do the right thing, but might not know where to begin. Children\u2019s Integrated Services (CIS) is a valuable local resource with parent educators available to help you at a location of your convenience. They even are able to come into your home and work directly with you and your children if that is something you are interested in doing.<\/p>\n

Many parents are concerned about reaching out to an agency because they fear that agency will take their children away. While I can understand why that fear exists, the primary purpose of these agencies is to keep families together<\/em> and to help them be the healthiest families they can be<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I know I am not judgmental when I find out that a parent has reached out and gotten connected with an agency on their own for help, rather I am impressed. I am grateful when parents break the cycle and say, \u201cThis is not how I want things to be. I need help.\u201d<\/strong> I admire parents who are proactive and have the courage to make changes.<\/p>\n

However, if you\u2019re not yet ready to reach out to the community, there are lots of online communities and resources available, so you can remain anonymous.<\/p>\n

\nHelp and Hope
\n<\/strong>http:\/\/www.helpandhope.org\/default.asp<\/a><\/p>\n

The Learning Community
\n<\/strong>http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/Lovingly-in-Charge<\/a><\/p>\n

Positive Discipline Blog
\n<\/strong>https:\/\/www.positivediscipline.com\/blog-category\/parents<\/a><\/p>\n

Prevent Child Abuse
\n<\/strong>http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/healthy-discipline<\/a><\/p>\n

Aha! Parenting
\n<\/strong>http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/aha-parenting-anger<\/a><\/p>\n

Imperfect Families
\n<\/strong>https:\/\/imperfectfamilies.com\/help-for-angry-parent\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Center for Parenting Education
\n<\/strong>https:\/\/centerforparentingeducation.org\/library-of-articles\/<\/a><\/p>\n

There are also local parenting classes offered through Comprehensive Interdisciplinary Developmental Services (CIDS) with topics such as:<\/p>\n