I Love my Best Friend, But… Are there consequences to being head-over-heels?

By Amber Benjamin
Imagine walking down the hallway with your partner at your side, hand in hand, and an ear to ear grin on your face. Life couldn’t be better; your partner is your best friend. There are countless hours between the two of you spent with each other, and maybe even hanging out with a group of mutual friends.
But are there cons to being best friends with your boyfriend or girlfriend? It is common that teenage couples spend more time together, which results in unintentional shutting out friends that they had been very close friends with before. Junior Jordyn Barrett, admits that she has been in a relationship similar to this in the past.
“I infatuated myself with them, and lost a lot of friends because of it,” Barrett said.
Another junior Joslynn Simpson agreed with Barrett.
“You should be best friends with your partner, but you shouldn’t ignore your other friends,”
She has seen numerous relationships like this happen before. So, are relationships like this considered unhealthy? If both people in the relationship are happy being with each other constantly, is too much love and attention overbearing?
In healthy relationships both partners almost always love spending time with each other. Jazmin Shea and Dayne Hughey, both seniors, have been in a relationship for almost six years; both said that they spend weekends together often. But the couple disclosed that when they started dating in 2012, they were just really good friends. Today, the pair strongly agreed that you should, most definitely, be best friends with your partner.
“It would be a very weird relationship for us if the two of us weren’t best friends” Hughey said.
Unsurprisingly, Shea, his best friend agreed.
Other couples in our school are in similar positions, Paige Robbins and Kevin LeRoux, have been dating for a year and a few months. Robbins says that they spend a large chunk of time together. When asked about her opinions on other couples in general, Robbins said “[what goes on in other relationships] doesn’t really matter to me. That’s their business. I just think people should be honest, respectful, and put trust into their partner.”
Many people experience their fairytale-like- happy ever after, but quite often there are stipulations to some relationships that make them unhappily crumble apart.
February isn’t just the month of love, but it is also Teen Dating Violence awareness month.
“Teen dating violence is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological, emotional violence, and stalking. It occurs in person or electronically and might occur between a current or former dating partner” according to the CDC. gov website.
Kris Morseman who works with Schuyler County Catholic Charities works with a team of people who are trained to help people that are in tough situations. She wants students and everyone in the community to be aware that the organization is there to be a breath of fresh air for anyone that may be in an unhealthy relationship.
“We help everybody, elderly, teens, women, and men that are experiencing domestic violence. It’s not unusual for a man to be bullied, mentally or physically. It is underreported because of societal norms,” Morseman said. “The best way around this is to educate youth.”
Morseman wants the community, students in particular, to know that there is always someone that is on your side, or in your corner that can help you make a plan to get through whatever roadblock you’re facing. There is a local hotline for Schuyler County called the “First Step & RHY Hotline”, where you can privately talk to a real person from your area to seek the help that you need. Their phone number is (607)-742-9629.
“Asking for help is a courageous act” Morseman added, it’s the tagline Catholic Charities is using for 2018.  
There are steps that you can take early on to avoid unhealthy relationships, for example: being completely open and honest with yourself and your partner.
“I think it’s best to know what you want, and to be honest about it when you get into a new relationship; don’t excuse anything that makes you resentful” she said.
Morseman explained that if you ever have an uneasy feeling about something that your partner is doing, it’s best to speak up and be honest about how you feel, rather than disregard your own feelings and actions.
To every unhealthy situation: there is a silver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel. Seek the help that you need to get yourself away from bad circumstances. When you’re ready, pursue the healthy relationship that everyone deserves. But also keep in mind that it is okay to figure life out on your own, and be comforted by your own self-love and independence.
It’s fine to be best friends with your partner if that is what makes your relationship happy, but don’t leave your other friends in the dust for a significant other. Try your best to live an untroubled and joyous lifestyle, whether it be by yourself or with anyone you consider your best friend at your side.